THE FIRST THING YOU LEARN

 by Phillip Starr

It was obvious that the young man was very excited about joining my martial arts school. He was all smiles as he asked, “So, what's the first thing I'll learn?” My response didn't do anything to keep the smile on his face. “Courtesy”, I said. “And manners.”

And that's exactly what I told anyone who asked me about what students learned first in my school. They were generally rather surprised; they were expecting to hear something about the horse-riding stance or basic punch. But it was important to me that students begin by learning proper behavior and protocols before engaging in more exciting things.

Most Westerners are something less than thrilled at having to learn and adhere to special forms of courtesy and manners. Most of us tend to be what we call “laid back.” Very casual. And although Eastern folks are, for the most part, equally “casual”, they still follow certain protocols and their martial arts teachers often tend to adhere very closely to them. For instance, it's important to learn not only when and to whom or what one should bow, but exactly HOW to do it...many, many Westerners (including those who teach martial arts) think they're doing it correctly but they're wrong and although an Eastern instructor might not curtly correct them (particularly if they're in the Eastern country), they do make a mental note of it...

Frankly, when I was sometimes confronted with a potential enrollee who lacked good manners, I regarded him as undisciplined (I still do) and I figured he wasn't particularly teachable. In any case, he'd make a poor student.

So make it an important point to master the courtesies of the culture from which you martial form is born. Consider how the teachers of that culture would see you if you didn't do so; if you haven't bothered to take the time and effort to learn fundamental courtesies, how can they expect you to put in the necessary time and discipline to learn the art that they teach? If you're not serious about the most basic things, you're clearly not very serious about more advanced things...