THE LARGEST OBSTACLE

 by Phillip Starr

     Like most martial arts teachers, I frequently subject my students - all of them - to various and sundry "tests" from time to time.  Administered without their knowledge (if they knew they were being "tested" the results would be tainted), these small and sometimes seemingly insignificant character tests allow me to look into their personalities or, as my teacher would have said, "see into their hearts."  This helps me to better understand each of them; how and why they learn or fail to learn, why they think and behave as they do, what they fear, what they believe (especially about themselves), and so on.  This enables me to be a more effective teacher.

     Over the many years that I have been involved in teaching, I have found one particular obstacle that is more insidious than all of the others combined.  It has ruined careers, destroyed countless relationships, and stunted the growth of many martial arts enthusiasts.  Of all the obstacles that are encountered by those who choose to follow the martial path, it is the largest and most dangerous.  It is also often the most difficult to see.

     And what might this obstacle be?

     Ego.

     Think about it.  Whenever someone fails to achieve something, they often think or say, "I can't do this."  The actual translation of that thought or statement is, "I won't do this."  Now, the why of that statement can vary considerably.  Some of the why’s would include:

· I don't really want to do it.

· I'm above doing that.  Doing that is beneath me.

· I'm too embarrassed to try.  Others will laugh at me.

· I'm afraid to try it but I don't want anyone else to know that I'm afraid.

· I don't want to put out that much effort.

And so on.

     Some time ago, I told my students at the end of class that we needed to clean up the training hall.  It needed to be dusted, vacuumed, and so on.  I watched to see who would pitch in and help.  Quite frankly, I was more than a little disappointed to see who didn't!

     On another occasion, a former student of mine went to the school of another martial arts teacher.  His ego wouldn't permit him to don a white belt and become a beginner again.  Instead, he behaved like a customer in a fast-food burger joint; he wanted it “his way!” He informed the instructor what it was that he wanted to learn and he fully expected the instructor to comply with his request!  Naturally, the teacher, who is a dear friend of mine, declined his request and when I heard of this incident I was very embarrassed and ashamed.

     I've met countless martial arts teachers over the years, many of whom would make the aforementioned pompous student look rather humble.  It has been my experience that those who insist on being addressed as "Master", "Grandmaster", "Great Grandmaster", "Hanshi", "Soke", "Grand Ultra-Cosmic Poohbah", and all other manner of eloquent titles...aren't.  Their egos are strangling them. I've met and trained with some of the greatest martial arts teachers of our time - Hidetaka Nishiyama, Seiyu Oyata, W.C. Chen - and none of them were ever addressed as "Great Master So-and-So."  Known simply as "sensei" or "sifu", they were exceptional men whose skill was of the highest caliber.  They weren't interested in titles; their sole concern lay in the development of real skill and in imparting that skill and knowledge to others.

     Another fine example of such a teacher was my friend, Sherman Harrill.  He had trained in Isshin-ryu karate under the founder, Tatsuo Shimabuku, and had spent decades perfecting his skill and researching what he had been taught.  For years, "Sherm" wouldn't wear a colored belt at all.  He'd wear a karategi (karate uniform), but no belt.  I used to harass him about it and he ignored me until I mentioned that a uniform without a belt just looked plain dorky.  I must have struck a nerve because shortly after I made that remark, he began wearing a belt. But...he insisted on wearing a white belt!

He said that he was really just a beginner and so began another round of me harassing him about not wearing the appropriate colored belt.  It took several years of loud complaining before he finally acquiesced and put on a proper black belt. Sherm didn't know the meaning of the word "ego."  I don't believe I ever heard anyone refer to him as "master" and I shudder to think what he might have done to who anyone who did.  Sherm cared nothing for titles.  Or belts (obviously).  What he cared about was knowledge and skill and he'd go to whatever lengths he needed to endure in order to learn.

     Another excellent example is that of another close friend, Mr. Ron Christenham. Known far and wide simply as "sensei" (I imagine there are many people who don't know his real name - even other martial arts instructors, including me, refer to him as "sensei" and everyone knows exactly who we're talking about), he exemplifies what a genuine martial arts teacher should be.  He doesn't try to do it; he has simply become it.  His unassuming, humble, and polite manner conceals his remarkable skill and extensive knowledge of the arts.  He is the perfect antithesis of the sort of teacher who revels in being called "master", grandmaster", or other high-flying titles.  He doesn't strut around with a puffed-out chest and his uniform is not adorned with patches that proclaim him as "instructor", "master", or anything else.  But if you were to walk into his aikido class, there would be no question as to the identity of this man.  You can feel his spirit from across the room!

     Martial arts are much more than learning some fancy punches, kicks, and throws. They’re more than a pretty uniform with patches all over it (I've seen some uniforms that resemble colorful maps of downtown Los Angeles) or black belts with half a dozen hash marks on one end.  At the end of the day, martial arts is learning about yourself - good and bad - and striving to perfect your character.  That means laying ego aside and that can be a very, very difficult thing to do.  Just when you think you've finally done it, the ego creeps up from a blind spot and returns. 

Do you feel proud that you've finally eliminated ego?  Then you'd better look again... Have you ever cleaned the training hall when no one else was around or watching you? Have you ever (or would you) clean the toilets?

     Remember, character is what you do and how you act when no one else is watching. Ego strangles the development of character.  And everything else.  I have some former students (and some still consider themselves students although they never manage to attend class) who are truly “unteachable”.  I say that they are beyond teaching because they won't jump into class with everyone else and pour sweat.  They don't have the beginner's mind that thirsts for knowledge and skill.  They are unwilling to push themselves (especially in front of others) and admit their weaknesses.  If they will not own up to their weaknesses and failings, how can they hope to overcome them?

     Take time for self-introspection.  You might be surprised at what you find.