by Phillip Starr
For
many martial arts enthusiasts the main goal of training is to become
stronger and faster, and to master fighting techniques and tactics so
as to defeat any aggressor who dares assault them. Basic
techniques are drilled over and over while muscles scream and the
breath comes in gasps. Forms are practiced over and over and
then studied and analyzed in minute detail until their true meaning
is understood. Students leave their blood on the striking post
and their sweat on the training floor. But underneath it all is
something more, something personal, insidious, and dark.
We've all faced times of hardship and times of "testing" as
we've traveled the martial path. These difficulties come in all
manner of shapes and sizes, from minor to major injuries, illnesses,
delays, loss of interest, problems with relationships...and there is
simply no way to intellectualize or buy your way out of them.
Oftentimes, you must work or even fight your way through them and at
other times you must simply grit your teeth and wait them out.
Sometimes simply staying on the path is all you can do. The
legendary founder of aikido, Morihei Uyeshiba, put it succinctly:
"In
extreme situations it seems as if the entire universe has become our
foe.
At
such critical times unity of body and mind is essential.
Do
not let your heart waver.
Bravely
face whatever God offers.
One
should be prepared to receive 99% of the enemy's attack and stare
death right in the face in order to illuminate the path.
Transcend
the realm of life and death and you will be able to make your way
calmly and safely through any crisis that confronts you."
In
the practice of martial arts we must eventually confront our own
"shadow side.” All of us have fears - from a simple fear of
the dark to fears of pain, financial ruin, loneliness, and disease.
And although these fears seem to come from outside of us, I think
they are often the result of an internal process. This is a process
of which we may not be consciously aware, a process that lies below
our surface personality.
In
training we strive to perform correctly, even under pressure.
It usually doesn't take long for inhibiting problems to begin to
surface; poor attitudes, envy, self-pity, criticism (of self or
others), insecurities, anger bubble to the surface to be seen by
everyone. You can't hide them although you may try and then it
becomes obvious that you're trying to conceal them!
The fact is that we've lived with these "shadows" for so
long that we've developed our own personal ways of handling them.
They've become a part of us - habits, if you will - and we've become
so accustomed to carrying them around that we don't even notice them
until we get involved in martial arts training, which is really very
different from most other physical activities because we're dealing
with the basest form of human relationships...a punch in the mouth.
We have to learn to respond appropriately to physical attack while we
must simultaneously "be with ourselves" under gradually
increasing levels of physical and emotional pressure.
Before
long we must face the ways in which we typically handle this and
other forms of stress; how we armor ourselves against them, how we
withdraw (into ourselves) or attack aggressively and what we see may
not be pleasant. We're exposed not only to ourselves but to all
of our classmates as well. The way we defend ourselves under
great pressure (as when a partner tries to punch us in the face)
shows us how we work to survive in daily life.
As
Wilhelm Reich said, your body acts as a "prison" that holds
"you" (or what you perceive as "you") in place.
Although you can see an open door before you, you are held back in
your "prison" by your limiting beliefs, attitudes, and so
forth.
A skilled and caring instructor will see immediately what you see but
he cannot present you with an instant "cure." All he
can do is encourage and guide you and you
must listen. He's
been where you are. Your chosen martial art can be used as a
vehicle to explore those things that you find undesirable in yourself
- your fears, what threatens you, feelings of inadequacy and
inferiority, and so on. It is at this time, when we recognize
various aspects of our "dark side" that we must take master
Uyeshiba's advice to heart.
You
face your opponent (your training partner) and he
becomes you.
You project your fears, your weaknesses, and even your strengths onto
him and confront them as you practice fighting. And as you
strive to "not lose", it isn't really your opponent who you
are trying to defeat. It's your "shadow side."
This is why practice fighting is so very important because in actual
combat it's the same thing. Your opponent, whether he's just a
training partner or a real assailant, is a mirror.
I
believe that the willingness to face our "dark side" and
striving to understand and eventually overcome our weaknesses, fears,
and the many things about ourselves that we would rather keep stashed
away is what makes a true warrior. You must begin by being bold
enough to admit the truth of what you see about yourself. Then
you must be strong enough to resolve those aspects of yourself that
you find undesirable. This can be accomplished through correct
martial arts training but it isn't easy and many students will quit
training in order to avoid having to face themselves although many of
them, perhaps even the majority of them, are unaware that this is the
reason they're quitting.
Remember
the word of master Uyeshiba above:
“In
extreme situations it seems as if the entire universe has become our
foe.”
(Ever
felt like the whole world - maybe even the whole universe - was
against you?)
“At
such critical times unity of body and mind is essential.”
(First,
recognize the situation and the feelings it evokes. Then "Get
One-Point" and exercise reverse breathing. Unify your body
and mind!)
“Do
not let your heart waver.”
(Don't
get cold feet. Don't even think about the possibility of giving
up or failing. Ever. Those are not
options.)
“Bravely
face whatever God offers.”
(Face
the problems directly and remember that every problem you face has a
hidden gift to give you.)
“One
should be prepared to receive 99% of the enemy's attack and stare
death right in the face in order to illuminate the path.”
(Like
the old Japanese saying; "You only live twice. Once when
you are born, and once when you look death in the face." )
“Transcend
the realm of life and death and you will be able to make your way
calmly and safely through any crisis that confronts you."
(When
you have overcome your fear of death, you can make your way calmly
through any crisis.)