by Yang Xuangxing
A small group of young men sauntered up beside them. “Hey, little China doll”, one of them quipped. “You lookin' fine tonight.” The young wife was startled and stepped behind her husband. “C'mon, girl...I'll show you a real good time.”, the jerk continued. Reaching out towards the husband, he said, “This Jap isn't gonna be any fun.”
The poor idiot didn't know that the “Jap” was one of Japan's best-known karate instructors. However, rather than becoming immediately violent, the husband laughed. He put his arm arm around his wife and, turning to walk towards a taxi, he said, “You wouldn't have any fun with her”, he said. “She's a 'Jap', too.” True story…
Although he likely wouldn't have had too much trouble with the young jerks, the karate teacher solved the problem by resorting to a strategem that harmed no one. But why did he do so? He saw that the attack was, initially at least, directed towards his ego. His response not only showed the loudmouth what an idiot he was, but he also demonstrated mastery of the martial Way by settling a potential physical conflict without resorting to violence. Had he turned to violence as a response, lives may well have been lost. And there was certainly a very good chance that the situation could have become violent...but the karate teacher didn't initiate it. And he was one of the best-known karate instructors in the world…
Had one of the young punks attempted to physically assault the instructor or his wife, the results would certainly have been immediate and disastrous. But he recognized that the “attack” was directed at his self-image and didn't necessarily warrant a physical response. We may respond inappropriately when someone jostles us as we stand in line at the grocery store or honks and makes certain gestures towards us in traffic. No one enjoys being teased or ridiculed and our response in such situations is to reply with equal or greater vigor.
We need to consider other solutions. The rigorous training that we undergo at the training hall strips away the false pretensions and fears, and fragile or bloated egos and leaves us with a feeling of quiet pride and self-worth. One who has persevered the through the daily, monthly, and yearly demands made on them through their martial arts training knows that he/she has endured very unique experiences and passed tests of both body and spirit. Such experiences provide them with knowledge that enables them to shrug off assaults to their egos. We learn to distinguish between a cheap shot at our egos and a dangerous attack made against us, our family members, and our society. As one teacher put it, “You cannot concern yourself with every puppy dog that barks at you. Worry only about those that mean to bite.”